Shush, It's All Just A Nightmare
by ImagineMe08
Summary: It never should have happened; she should’ve had a fighting chance. At least with cancer there had been hope, at least with cancer I could have come back to her. But now I’m stuck with him. The man that has my eyes, my dimples, even shares my own fears.


Title: Shush, It's All Just A Nightmare

Rating: **T** (May change to _**M**_ in future chapters)

Summary: It never should have happened; she should've had a fighting chance. At least with cancer there had been hope, at least with cancer I could have come back to her. But now I'm stuck with _him. _The man that has my eyes, my dimples, even shares my own fears. But he was never there for me; he was never what a Dad should be. Yeah, I love the man; I love him a lot. But I also _hate_ to love him so much.

Author's Notes: So, this is a new version of an oldie that, sadly, only survived four chapters. I lost track of where I was heading with the story and eventually gave up on it. However, this piece of Fan Fiction has always been close to my heart. In the past I have attempted quiet a few stories where one of the Winchesters have a son, but it's never worked out as I've planned. This one, though, always had a fighting chance.

This story was originally posted on Supernatural.tv as _'A Shadow of Secrets'_ with a wonderful Beta, SamsGirl, checking each chapter. However, after abandoning the story, I also lost contact with her. Therefore, I'm in search of a new Beta for this particular fiction. I need someone whose good with grammar, spelling, punctuation, characterization, plot, etc. Someone that's going to be honest, but not brutalize my work. Also, need someone who can let me know what they liked about the chapter, what their thoughts are. Someone whose good with communication. Now, I have to warn that this fiction might get a bit dark at points, and it may not. So, simply, I need someone who won't get scared and run the other way. If you're interested then just write it in a review with your email address and I'll send you the first chapter.

Alright, I think I'm done with all that… Let's get to the story already. For readers out there who have already read this first chapter, keep reading it anyway. There's a dramatic change in this story with a dramatic ending to this Prologue.

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**Prologue**

Julie Santonio stared at the old photo that she held in front of her dark emerald eyes. There was a couple standing in the middle of the photo; their arms tightly wrapped around one another like their lives depended on it. Julie didn't know what had happen to cause the couple of the past to break up and move on with their lives, only to be rejoined after their son's birth and once again five years earlier. Now she would have to face the father of her son again, bringing back all the old memories of what was. She felt the corners of her lips twitch upwards, but quickly the smile faded. Anger got the best of her, yet again. He had only seen Nathan twice in their son's lifetime, once when Nathan was born, and once when he was five. _How dare she even think to actually leave her son with that man, who had failed to stay behind for his own flesh and blood!_ Julie thought to herself as anger cursed through her veins.

Just for unusual hunting trips, that she knew would never end. He was so stubborn; sometimes she couldn't understand why she had ever fallen in love with him in the first place. Julie remembered how they had met, a vampire. She shuddered at the memory, but then relaxed when she remembered the man that had come to her rescue. That vampire of course, had changed her whole view on the supernatural and spirits and what ever else there was out there in the passing shadows. So when her Prince Charming had told her what he and his family did, practically for a living, she had believed every word that had past through his lips. Soon after that, she had found herself falling in love with the snarky yet gentle fella.

Julie was soon pulled away from her thoughts as she heard the front door opening and then slamming its self against the woodwork.

"Nathan, is that you?" Julie called out as she quickly put the old photo away in her jewelry box.

"Yeah, I'm going upstairs to do my homework!" A voice shouted as footsteps could be heard running up the stairs. Before she could get anything else past her lips, Julie heard a bedroom door slam against the woodwork, once again. She got up from the comfort zone of her leathered chair. These were the days when she wished that his father were here, here to help her with Nathan. Julie remembered last Monday when she had gotten a call from the nurse at school, telling her that Nathan had gotten into another fight and had gotten the worse end of the beating. She had been so mad at the other boys, who she knew for a fact were much older then Nathan. However, Nathan refused to have her turn those boys in to the school principle.

_'It would only make things worse, mom,' _Julie recited these words in her head. Sometimes she felt so ashamed for having Nathan at such a young age. She had only been sixteen at the time, still a child herself. Nevertheless, she had refused to have an abortion, as her parents had demanded of her. This had lead her parents to disown her and her son. But Julie did not regret the decision that she had made, for Nathan was her pride and joy. Without him in her life, there would be no Julie Santonio.

Julie made her way up the stairs, quietly approaching Nathan's bedroom. She knew that she would have to tell him about her arrangements with his Dad, who he had not seen in five years. She prayed that he would not fight her on this one, especially his father. She knocked on his bedroom door.

"Nathan, sweetie? I need to talk to you about something, could I come in?" Julie asked through the wooden door.

"Uh, yeah, one minute." Nathan replied, followed with sounds of papers shuffling and a pencil dropping to the hard wood floor. Before she knew it, Nathan had yanked the door open, and was now standing in front of her with a questioning look.

His hair was a dark chestnut color, and unruly as ever. She had discovered over the past years that he liked his hair best that way, though it wasn't very long at all, it still was able to be messy. She smiled when their eyes connected; he had his father's eyes of course. Those deep hazels with gold specks, mixed in with those puppy eyes; that was something he had inherited from his father and Uncle. He was slightly small for his age, but she knew that he would grow out of this stage sooner or later. Leaving her to have a son who had grown into a young matured man.

"What's up Mom?" He asked with an innocent face. Julie knew right then that her son was hiding something from her.

"Well, there is something that I need to tell you. Mind if I come in and have a seat?" Julie asked her son, who nodded his head as he turned his back to her. She took a seat on his bed, preparing herself mentally for what was to come. Julie knew that her son hated to talk about his Dad, and she couldn't disagree with him on that particular subject.

"As you know, I am going to Main for my treatment." Julie said, knowing not to say the 'C' word in front of her son, which stood for cancer. She had found out only a couple of months ago. And her son had been so angry and distant, but at the same time frightened by this new disease that had invaded her body. Scared that he would loose his Mom and have no one else. But she knew that she would pull through some how, Julie had to, not for herself, but for her son.

"Yeah, I know." Nathan mumbled, staring out the window in front of his desk.

"You know that somebody has to watch you for the months that I'll be gone. So, I found somebody, I haven't reached him yet, but I'm calling him today." Julie said, her words coming out sure and firm, not that she felt quiet the same. "Nathan, I'm calling your Dad."

Nathan slowly turned around, his mouth slightly hanging open. Julie couldn't tell if whether it was from shock or amazement that she had actually thought of his Dad as a candidate for this type of job. Nathan had noticed this and immediately shut his mouth.

"I don't want to see him." Nathan said quietly as he turned back around to face the window.

"It's only for a couple of months, and then you can come back and live with me." Julie said, walking over to Nathan. "Baby, you know that he loves you. He always has, since the first time he laid eyes on you. He just has a busy life, that's all." Julie knew that the last sentence was only partly true. She couldn't tell her son the real reason why he had only seen his father once. She didn't want him to know what was in the darkness; she didn't want him to know at all. And she would make sure that his Dad would not tell their son about what he does for a living either.

"Must've been too busy to even notice that he had a kid, huh?" Nathan said, more of a statement then a question. He turned around to look at her. "You can't make me do this."

There it was; that fight in Nathan to defy her.

A heavy sigh left Julie as she folded sleeved arms across her chest. "Yes, you are, Nathan." He began to shake his cranium. "You're going with him because I have no one else volunteering to baby-sit you for the next couple of months."

"And you think he's volunteering?" He lashed out in exasperation. "Mom, you just said yourself that you haven't even had a chance to call him yet! What makes you think that when you do reach him, do tell him about our little problem here, that he's not going to give you some lame excuse as to why he can't watch over me? Farther more, I don't need a babysitter. I can handle myself just fine without one."

Julie shook her cranium, unfolding an arm as a forefinger and thumb rubbed tiredly at her eyes. This was not what she wanted or needed from Nathan, not when it was so crucial for him to understand her predicament. It wasn't as though she had made a random choice and chosen the one man she knew Nathan didn't want anything to do with. Julie knew how much it bothered her son that his Dad wasn't there for him like other dads were for their own sons. God, if anyone knew the suffering his Father had inflicted upon their son it was her.

"Nathan-"

Loud knocking resonated through the home from downstairs, interrupting Julie's attempt to settle her son into the idea of living with his Dad for a while. Shoulders rose and fell as a frustrate sigh left her; she walked past Nathan, leaning across the desk and peering out the window. Emerald orbs scanned the street and her front yard for any other sign of life. However, she found only her SUV parked in the driveway and no sign of the person below.

The knocking grew persistent.

Shaking her cranium, Julie moved away from the window, heading toward the door. She glanced momentarily over her shoulder, saying, "We'll talk about this later."

Nathan didn't respond.

A sigh almost escaped those lips again; however, she caught herself. These days, Julie found herself exhaling at everything. Rather it be in frustration, anger, sadness, relief; she just couldn't escape those infectious _sighs_ of hers.

Taking two steps at a time she quickly reached the door as the knocking continued, leading her toward Headache City. She winced at the sudden pain reverberating through her skull as she grasped the doorknob and yanked the door opened with more force than necessary. A gasp left her paralyzed to her Welcome Home mat.

"Miss me?" Daniel Reed asked, the barrel of a .45 aimed at her chest as he took a step toward her. Julie stared in horror at the man before her, taking in his rugged appearance. She could tell he hadn't shaved in a couple of days; dark, thin hairs sprouting along his jaw line, making him look more severe than before.

"No…" She shook her cranium, a hand covering her lips as anguish wrote its self across her smooth facial features. This couldn't be happening; it wasn't possible. He was supposed to be in prison, serving time for domestic abuse and attempted murder. This man, this _monster _who had left her battered and nearly killed her in front of her son, could **not** possibly be here, so close to her. _No, no, no, no_… She was dreaming, having a nightmare. _Oh, God, please let me be dreaming!_

"What's wrong, Jules?" He asked before smirking. "Cat got your tongue? Ah, but of course, the cat always did have your tongue, didn't it?"

The one hand that wasn't covering her mouth went to close the door, her thoughts reeling with the desire to call 911, to have him arrested before he could lay a finger on her or Nathan. _Oh, God, Nathan! _Her mind screamed as Daniel's smirk faded as quickly as it had come, a hand forcefully shoving the door opened and walking into the house. With a growl, he slammed the door shut, the noise deafening.

"Daniel, please-" Her plea was cut short as the back of his hand smacked her across the face, unbalancing her as she stumbled and found her grip on the rail of the staircase. The impact of skin on skin only added to the growing pain in her skull, smothering her with dizziness as colorful spots danced in her line of vision. She knew it before he ever wrenched her raven locks into his harsh grasp, before he ever whispered haunting words into her ear, before she ever felt the cool barrel of a .45 pointed to the side of her cranium. She was going to die and there was nothing she could do to prevent it.

"Mom-"

She had heard the footsteps on the staircase, descending. The entire time she had been pleading with God to save her, let her have a chance to fight! For some angel to come down and save her from this monster. Cancer, she had a fighting chance; this monster? She would be the looser. _Please, no!_ She screamed from within herself, mere whimpers escaping her as wide, tear-filled emeralds made mt her son's hazel orbs. She saw his lips part, the horror twisting his youthful facial features into pure shock, but she never heard her son's cry. It was done so quick, so fast that she didn't even feel the bullet split through her skin as it broke through her skull and launched its self into her brain. Darkness stole her vision, her everything.

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**I'm going to be starting on the first chapter ASAP! So, don't worry, I'll post the first chapter one way or another. Oh, and did I mention that this may be the beginning of a series? So, if you're interested in where this goes, be nice and leave a review on your way out. It's nice to read about someone else's thoughts on something you've worked hard on. Gets me all inspired.**

**Side Note: Next chapter and future ones will be from Dean's point of view in third person. Sometimes it'll switch, but mostly Dean's and Sam's point of view. **


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